y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
