i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
