You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize