in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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