I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
