sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
