no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
