He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize