Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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