i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
