Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
