Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
