come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
