he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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