haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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