I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
