okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
