Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want to be your penis for a week.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
