I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
