I think scott just propositioned me for sex
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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