he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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