Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
sex in a hospital.. check
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
