I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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