Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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