dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
