Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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