5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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