omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
