the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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