Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize