Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize