Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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