lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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