i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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