We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
