Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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