he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
