the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
