you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
