I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
