I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
