Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
