Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
