The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
