i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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