I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
