69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just found puke in my bra..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
