he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
