His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
