God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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