I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
