You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
