Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize