I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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