His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
