i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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